"IT guys" and "tech guys" - how to spot the bad ones.

Being in the technical service field, I have dealt with a lot of IT guys and tech guys during my time. 

Now I will say that there is a lot of talented IT/tech guys out there that know what they are doing and can get things done.  

But this post isn't about those people.  This is about the ones that give the good ones a bad name and how to spot them.

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How are the bad ones even hired?

Simple - they either know the owner of the company or they know how to spout off the right "buzzwords" to the person who is conducting the interview.  

Another thing that they will do is boast that they have a computer science degree, almost always while having no real-world experience most of the time - more on that later.

So, here is how to spot them....

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They denounce good products while recommending crappy products because they have an "established name."

I once was asked by a guy in IT what I would recommend to people looking for an antivirus program.

I said, "anything that's not sold at a retail store or is not too widely used.  Avast, NOD32 and VIPRE come to mind as good programs."

He said, "I would never recommend an off-brand product like that.  I would recommend Norton, but McAfee is fine."

At that point, I decided to end the conversation, because I didn't want to get into a pissing match with someone who claimed to be in the IT industry calling programs like Avast, NOD32 or VIPRE "off-brand" software.

Let me tell you why I would never recommend Norton or McAfee to anyone.   They are like a drug that is overprescribed - once too many people take the drug, the germs get resistant to it.  In the case of Norton and McAfee, so many people have it installed that most malware is programmed to blow right past it.  Of the two, Norton has gotten a little better and as long as you don't install it on a "typewriter special" computer with inadequate memory , it shouldn't slow your system down, at least the lower end versions.  McAfee, though, utilizes something I call DCS technology which stands for "Doesn't Catch Shit."  Even worse, the higher end the version is the bigger the resource hog it is.  The total protection version of McAfee should be called "Total System Slowdown!"

To be honest, I would never recommend any antivirus/security program sold at a retail big box store, but when you tell a bad IT/tech guy the reason you'll get denounced.  Read on...

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When you tell them why you'd never recommend things like security software sold at a big box store, you'll get denounced.

There is a reason why I would never buy most security software that is sold at a big box store: they are designed to cater to the type of people that usually shop there.

Simply put, unless he or she is really desperate for an item that is needed RIGHT NOW and can't wait for NewEgg or Amazon to ship it, people who actually know about computers do not shop at a big box store.  

That leaves what I call "the average consumer."   Software that is sold at big box stores are often touted as "easier to use for the average consumer."

I'll tell you what that really means: The publisher held a meeting with focus groups of average consumers who probably said "I don't want something that needs a masters degree in order to use it."  So to satisfy them, they dumb down the product to the point where it's effectiveness is gone to shit but hey, it's easy to use!

The best (or worst, depending on your point of view) example of this is an antivirus software that begins with a K and ends with a Y.  When it was more difficult to use it was one of the better security softwares out there.  Note that it was only available directly from them.  Then the publisher decided to sell it retail at big box stores and made the announcement "To coincide with retail availability we have made this version easier to use for the average consumer."

When that happened, I cringed because I knew what was going to happen.   Over time, people who used the direct-only version of the program started complaining when they upgraded to the versions available retail and noticed that it missed things that the older versions easily caught.  But hey, at least it was easy to use! *Sarcasm.*

So what happens when you explain to a bad IT/tech guy this one reason why you'd never recommend security software sold at big box stores?

You'll get accused of "making an insulting generalization about an entire group of people that you shouldn't be making."

Which is code for "You actually had the guts to call it as you see is and you're not off-base."

But it's not just about security software.  It can also extend to web browsers too.  Read on....

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They seem to have a love affair with Internet Explorer.

There is a reason why a lot of techies refer to internet explorer as "the tool they use to download Chrome and Firefox on a new Windows install."

There are multiple reasons why internet explorer sucks, but the biggest reason is that because it's integrated into the windows core files it allows a virus a nice clear path straight into the system32 folder.  That's why a lot of viruses are programmed to target IE users.  That's also why if it gets FUBAR'ed you pretty much have to do a factory reload on your computer, you can't just uninstall and reinstall it like a 3rd party browser.

3rd party browsers are simply more secure than IE, and if something corrupts them you can just uninstall and reinstall them.  Plus, you can install add-ons to make them even more useful  and even more secure like Adblock Plus, NoScript, and many more.  Oh, and because they aren't tied into the operating system files they are much faster.

But for some reason, bad IT/tech guys seem to ignore any of this and continue to use IE or even worse, still recommend it to people.  Here are some of the excuses I heard:

1: "No I do not have Firefox or Chrome installed and don't plan to install them.  I don't deal with 3rd party crap...."

My answer: This is what someone who claimed who worked in IT for 20 years told me.  I just wasn't interested in getting into a pissing match with someone who calls the superior product crap.

2: "You don't need a 3rd party browser, much less add-ons, to be safe online.  As long as you're careful, you won't get viruses."

My answer: Car analogy time!  That's like saying, "As long as you're careful, you'll never get into a accident."  You can be driving down university drive going the speed limit and have a run-in with some imbecile who doesn't know what a stop sign is.  Same principal with going online, you can be going to a legit website that has been hacked and compromised with malicious code and get infected with malware.   That's why when someone says this, I put them into the "bad" group right away.

 3: "There are some sites that only work in IE, so rather than switching between browsers I just use IE for all sites."

My answer: It takes 10 seconds or less to close IE and open a new window in either Firefox or Chrome.  You don't even have to do that, just install an add-on called "IE Tab" in Firefox or Chrome, and when you're on a webpage that is an IE snob just right click and select "view page in IE tab."  If even that won't work for you, then you're just a lazy asshole, plain and simple.

4: "Internet explorer has the best customer support of all the web browsers which is why I use it and recommend it."

My answer: Since when does anyone call "customer support" for a web browser?  If you even have to call tech support for a damn web browser then you shouldn't be in the IT/tech field.  Also, this is a poor reason to recommend it to people.  Why?  There is something called google that can give you all the answers you need.  You don't need to call the publisher for help on a web browser.  Sheesh!

5: I used Firefox/Chrome/etc once, I stopped using it when it kept slowing down or crashing on me, and I looked in task manager and it was using close to 500 megs.  

My answer: It is true that early versions of Firefox and Chrome had problems with memory usage, but they have mostly worked past those issues now.  It must be noted that many of those memory issues were caused by a user installing way too many add-ons to the browser which all run at the same time in the background until you disable or uninstall them.  Come on, it was caused by you installing a bunch of add-ons that you only used once, admit it!

Now there is another way to spot a bad IT/tech guy, and although it may be silly at first it's very telling.....

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They mispronounce the names of common OEMs in the tech field.

I'll keep this one short.  Sorry but if a supposed IT/tech guy pronounces Lexmark "Lenmark" or Linksys "Link-ski" then I seriously doubt his abilities.  

I know it's petty, but it's very telling.

Only thing I'll give a free pass for is "Asus."

Another thing that makes a bad IT/tech guy easy to spot?  

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They will not do anything that has a bit of "risk" because they're afraid of the customer.

I remember helping a client of mine out with his computer a long time ago.  His problem was the infamous "missing CD drive issue."  For those that don't know, it was an issue where the optical drive would go missing from "computer" ("My computer" in windows XP) and it should show up with an exclamation point in device manager.   A tiny bit of google-fu showed to go into the registry, delete the "upperfilters" (or lowerfilters) registry key, reboot and VIOLA!  Optical drive is back.

Happy customer!  You know what he told me?  "My IT guy at work told me he couldn't figure it out and it's best to back up my data and restore to factory."

So I asked around as to why a "professional" IT guy - who presumably charges way more than me - would not bother to do a shred of research to try and fix a problem that took less than 15 minutes for me to resolve?

The best (or saddest) answer I got, was this:

"Maybe he did do the research and once he saw it involved editing the registry in real time he played dumb and told the customer that he needed to back up his crap and reload to factory?"

To which I asked:

"What's the big deal?  It's just deleting one or two registry entries and rebooting!"

To which this person said:

"What if you misread the tech article and delete the wrong registry key, or go to delete the correct one but delete the wrong one by mistake?   You are taking a risk by editing the registry in real time, and if the fix goes to shit you're in big trouble.  What if you reboot the computer and it won't boot up again?  That easy 15 minute fix just turned into a nightmare of the customer screaming at you that you 'broke' the machine!"

Okay, I'm going to let you in on a little secret.  Any fix for an issue on a windows-based PC can "go to shit."  I have seen PCs go into the dreaded "blue screen and reboot at startup" issue after a routine uninstall of no-longer-needed software, for pete's sake!

 

First, that is why before you actually start editing the registry you make sure to create a backup of it first.  What a concept!

Now, there is a time when this mentality is valid.  Let's say that a computer has a big problem and you find that editing the registry would take hours.  Screw that, let's format the damn thing.  But if a registry fix is only going to take 15 minutes or less, why not go ahead and do it?

The issue here, is that being afraid of what the customer might say and going straight for the nuke button instead of performing a fix that would save both him/her and you time is only going to make you look foolish when the customer calls someone else who charges a lot less than you and manages to fix the problem very quickly - without a format.

It doesn't just go for editing the registry.  I've heard of IT/tech guys telling clients to back up and reload when they are infected by just a single piece of malware.  Now with this, it depends on the malware.  If I do research and find that the cleanup is going to be hours of work with no guaranteed success, then I'll recommend a format.  But that's actually very rare.  If I do research and find that I can blow that damn malware out of there and get the system working 100% in less than an hour or so, then I'll download the needed tools and get it removed.

There is another thing I want to get to, and it involves people who shout....

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"I HAVE A DEGREE IN COMPUTER SCIENCE!"

 There is a big reason why I don't place stock too much when someone says this.   Computer Science is a theoretical course, not a practical or logical one.  

I have come across some computer science majors who don't even know how to install a hard drive.  I've also ran across one that thinks that an 8-core AMD FX series processor must be better than an Intel Haswell series processor "because it has more cores."  Or someone who thinks that his degree makes him immune to viruses and he doesn't need an antivirus "because he's careful."

Some will say to me that poking fun at CompSci majors for not knowing much about hardware or feeling that they don't need antivirus software is "not fair."  

As one person told me, "Let's compare the CompSci major to the owner of a company about to buy a fleet of diesel trucks.  Do you really think he's going to want to know why the Powerstroke is better than the Cummins and do countless reading on internet forums or articles on every nut and bolt of the engine?  No he's not, he's going to look at ownership costs, fuel costs, etc.  He is NOT going to listen to people on message boards saying shit like, 'Cummins is awesome, Powerstroke sucks!' and visa versa.  Computer Science is all about programming and software, just as the owner who's about to buy trucks, the CompSci major may know little about the hardware they are using but as long as they did enough research to find out that it runs their software without causing them issues, that's all that matters to them."

That's true to an extent, but if you want to get into the IT field, you need to know about software and hardware.  An A+ certification course goes a long way, but there is something else that matters too....

Ready?  It will blow your mind....

REAL WORLD EXPERIENCE.

Simply put: I don't care if someone read a cram session book and passed a test.  If they know what they are doing and can do it well, who cares if they have a fancy degree?  If more employers considered candidates based on actual knowledge and experience instead of a fancy piece of paper, it would make people like me rethink having to write posts like this.

This next one is debatable because the subject does have its merits, but it's the way they talk it up....

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They think cloud storage is the best thing since sliced bread....

I get it.  Cloud storage does have its merits.  But it's not for everyone, and there are downsides....

1. Uploading to the cloud is slow....

....Real slow.  I'm talking trying to keep up with modern traffic in a Model-T slow.  Most people don't have anything more than 1 or 2 mbps on the upload side of their ISP, and do you know how many hours it would take just to upload a few gigs of files onto a cloud server?   I tried the cloud, I have a 10 meg up connection with my ISP, and I gave up when I saw that it was going to take all night and much of the next day to upload just my personal picture folder!

2. Cloud storage is not as secure as people think.

Remember the celebrity nude photo hacking scandal, the one where someone managed to "break in" to a bunch of celebrities cloud accounts and steal their photos?  It's quite simple, really: anytime a server has inbound and outbound access to the internet, it's liable to get hacked.  Yes, I know that cloud storage providers tout their service as "secure" with all sorts of encryption and that's fine, but thinking that your stuff is 100% secure just because of that is the equivalent to thinking that a condom will 100% prevent you from getting your girlfriend pregnant.   

3. Cloud services tout redundancy in case of failure, but....

I have read stories of people uploading to the cloud and unbeknownst to them, the cloud provider put their stuff on a bad batch of hard drives that ended up failing, taking their data with it.  Granted, this is extremely rare, but if it does happen to you, it totally sucks.  Especially if you deleted the original files after you uploaded them to the cloud.

So why do bad IT/tech guys talk up cloud storage so much?

They use the "house fire scenario."   They will say, "what if your house caught on fire and you had no time to grab your external hard drive?"

Well, I'm not doubting that.   After all, faced with the decision to grab your loved ones or your external hard drive unit I'm pretty sure that most any sane person would choose their loved one.  But that's putting an extreme example out there to try to talk up a service that may not fit their needs for whatever reason.  

If you can afford it, a better option is to get a good quality NAS box (The cheap off-brand ones are junk, sorry to say), load it up with good quality hard drives, put them in RAID 1 and disable any remote admin functions the device may have.  There, your own personal cloud that only you can access!

But throughout all that, not all bad IT/tech guys are bad on their own.  They might be under someone who are making them that way.  Read on....

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Some IT guys are not bad on their own doing.  Sometimes their bosses make them out to be. 

How?  Simply put, by placing a ton of restrictions on their IT staff or refusing to listen to any suggestions that the IT staff might have.  It's a simple case of someone who isn't tech savvy questioning the person that is, and in turn the tech savvy person unfortunately looks "bad" to a user he's trying to help.

Remember that guy with the missing optical drive issue?  I told someone I know about what the person's IT guy told him, and he said, "sounds like a friend a mine that was an IT guy at a law firm.  He wasn't stupid, but has boss made him that way whenever someone brought a computer in for him to look at."

I asked him to give me details about that, as I was curious.  This is what he told me....

"His boss was a computer luddite, and he would read doom-and-gloom articles meant for luddites like, 'Never edit the registry it will mess up your computer!, 'Removing a virus is never successful and can harm your computer!' and 'Never go with a no-name antivirus stick with the established name!' etc.  

So upon reading these articles, he would make rules like, 'I do not want anyone editing the registry of any computer, if you research and find it involves editing the registry play dumb and tell them they need to back up and reload to factory!' and 'Don't waste time trying to remove a virus just play dumb and tell them they need to back up and reload to factory'!"

So I asked him, "What would happen if your friend decided to break those rules?"

His answer?

"His boss told him and his co-worker, 'If I find out you edited the registry on any computer, or wasted time on a virus, or (insert other actual fix here) I'll write you up, do it again and I'll fire you!  And don't even think about letting a user drop off a computer at your house after hours, if I find out you did that to skirt my rules I'll fire you on the spot'!"

The guys reason for this?  

"His boss told him, 'because if you being a hero goes wrong and the computer doesn't boot up afterwards, you won't hear the complaint, I will be the one the user bitches and moans to and I don't want to deal with it'!"

I asked him if his friend ever confronted his boss about it, and this is what he said....

"He did, his exact words were 'Boss I know you're not tech savvy but you need to stop taking what you're reading from those doom-and-gloom articles and making them policy.  It's making me and the other guy look like idiots when the we tell a user to back up and format and then they take their computer to their relative / friend / freelancer-with-a-flash-drive and that person manages to fix it quickly without having to format.  You may want to consider letting us actually fix issues'.

His boss actually said, 'Then if those guys want to risk breaking the machine because they wanted to play hero, let them.  This is my company, if you don't like the rules then leave!'  The last straw was when the boss wanted him to install McAfee on the computers instead of an actually good antivirus, and any attempt to sway him in another direction was met with nasty resistance.  My friend and his co-worker found IT jobs the next day and put in their notices.  The luddite boss was pissed because in a matter of two weeks his paranoia costs him two talented IT guys."

I told him to congratulate his friend on my behalf.   That's crazy, and while rules are rules, there comes a time when rules start to make the staff look bad and should be revisited or maybe even abolished.  You know, let the staff actually fix shit instead of "playing dumb and telling people that need to back up and format."

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In conclusion....

Those are just a few of the ways you can spot a bad IT/tech guy, and one example of ones that are made bad by their higher-ups.  If you have more ways that I missed here, you can add them in the comments section below.