I can’t believe I am making a blog entry about this but
someone recently “debated” with me on the subject and I have felt compelled to
write about it.
I am sorry in advance if this goes into “T.M.I territory,”
now that it is out of the way, here goes….
I’m a hetero guy and my favorite porn category is lesbian
porn. Over the years I have learned to
“weed out” the good stuff from the bad.
The top two studios in my opinion are Sweetheart Video and the Girlsway
line of sites (BTW…. If you’re at work, DON’T
google them, they are obviously Not Work Safe and meant for adult audiences at
home). The bad studios will use
actresses that are “Gay-4-Pay” and it’s easy to tell by watching them.
There are reasons why I only watch lesbian porn, the main
reason is that seeing a dude in a porn video totally kills it for me, in fact
it’s a total turn-off. I just wouldn’t
be able to enjoy what I am seeing, in fact it grosses me out. Obviously, it’s a little different in real
life when I’M the dude with a
woman.
The other reason is because from what little I’ve seen of
boy/girl porn is that many times it’s very degrading and treats the woman as
nothing more than a sex toy for the man.
The lesbian stuff is more sensual and soft; in fact it’s more “loving”
in that the women are treated as equal partners.
Plus there is another, obvious reason: One hot woman is
great, two are even better!
But recently, upon telling a friend my above reasons for
only watching lesbian porn after he pressed me for an answer beyond “I just don’t
like boy/girl porn,” he offered this to say:
“Watching porn is all
about envisioning yourself in the role of the man on-screen. You don’t get that
with the lesbian stuff.”
Fair enough, if that is what your opinion of it is. But then this was said:
“If you have to watch
two women getting it on just to avoid looking at a naked man in a porn then
that says something about you.”
I asked to elaborate and this is what I got:
“Lesbian is gay. Two women making out and having sex is
gay. That means you like watching gay
sex acts between two women and if you’re telling me that you mainly watch it to
avoid looking at another dude than that means that you might have some closeted
gay feelings you are trying to push away.”
*Cue the record scratch!*
Wait, what?! There is
a reason why this person’s logic is flawed:
LESBIAN PORN ONLY HAS WOMEN IN IT. GAY MEN DON’T LIKE WOMEN. IT’S THAT SIMPLE.
Okay, sorry for the “shouting.” But what was said to me is totally
ridiculous. Now I’m sure everyone knows
someone who is gay. Whenever the subject
is brought up this is what a gay person usually says to me:
“I never understand
why you straight dudes like seeing two women kissing and having sex!”
Now….
If you google “why do straight men like lesbian porn,” you
get a bunch of results. The best answer
is one that is on this Yahoo Answers page.
Ok, I have screened it and there is a lot of spam links to
shit that may not be totally safe (Meaning you better make sure that your
antivirus is up to date), so if you don’t want to visit I’ll just copy-n-paste
the “best answer” here because I would basically say the same thing:
1) A lot of straight
men just don't like looking at men, which is something you have to do when you
watch straight porn. For guys who get turned off at the sight of naked men and
male body parts (other than their own, that is), lesbian porn easily fixes the
problem.
2) If one girl is
good, two is better! Or at least, that's what a lot of men believe.
3) It lets men in on a
world they don't otherwise get to see. What we don't know is mysterious and
exotic, and many men fantasize and imagine- what exactly DO lesbians get up to
together? A lot of people can't even conceive of sex without a penis, so
they're obviously curious and it's really hot to watch and get that voyeuristic
feel of peeking into the bedroom's into which they would otherwise not be
allowed entry.
4) Much of the
mainstream, girl-on-girl porn produced by men for men to consume, is very soft,
playful, and gentle. For men who get turned off by rougher boy/girl scenes,
lesbian porn is perfect.
5) Lots of female
pornstars openly admit that they prefer doing girl/girl scenes- they are with
another woman, so there isn't an unequal power dynamic, and it's less
stressful- it's just two girls having fun. Lots of time this communicates
itself onscreen, so you get more real orgasms in lesbian porn (although there
is still so much faking), and what looks like genuine enjoyment instead of
acting the way there can be in boy/girl scenes. Men (and women) tend to enjoy
watching happy pornstars.
6) It's taboo. Two
girls together is still somewhat taboo and "rare", so that adds in even
more heat and sexiness.
7) Somewhat related to
#3, there are some men who watch it from that viewpoint, but more mean-spirited
and vengeful. These are the guys who have been spurned by lesbians or bisexual
women, and watch it feeling vindicated that they get to see lesbians (the same
reason, for example, that many men like "Girls Gone Wild" instead of
more hardcore fare- it lets them vicariously 'get with' all the young girls who
rejected them back in high school).
8) Somewhat related to
#5 but a little different- a lot of men believe that women can better please a
woman (because they have vaginas so they know what others like), and they feel
because of this, they can watch hotter, better pleasuring in lesbian porn than
straight porn.
9) When's the last
time you saw extended cunnilingus in a straight porn video? Exactly. If you
like seeing the vagina being lovingly lavished, lesbian porn is the place to
go.
10) Men are programmed
to think it's hot. We always seem to forget that the media has a large part to
play in what we think is sexy, and they definitely promote girl-on-girl as
something sexually desirable.
11) It's
"innocent". Oddly enough, a lot of men who watch porn feel disdainful
for girls who seem "skanky" or like "sluts" for being in
porn and sleeping with so many men. They want to see girls who aren't jaded and
experienced, and lesbian porn harkens back to that for them- images that
inundate our culture (young girls having sleepovers and practicing kissing and
whatnot). Two girls together is often portrayed by porn as
"innocent", "exploratory", and so on.
12) We all want what
we can't have. Men can't, by definition, have lesbians. Hence it becomes even
hotter.
There are probably
more reasons, but this is a lot of it.
Here are my responses to the “best answer” above:
1. Exactly what I said.
2. Exactly what I said.
3. I never thought of it that way, but one has to keep in
mind that the sex you see in porn is often “choreographed” to look better for
the camera. It’s rarely that way in real
life or “off camera.”
4. Exactly what I said.
5. Many female porn stars have stated in interviews that
their best experiences (As in amount of orgasms) are with other women. I am not surprised by this and this is one of
the reasons why I watch it.
6. I never thought of it as “taboo” but maybe it’s because
of my progressive mindset?
7. I never watched it with this mindset, because if a woman
doesn’t want to go out with me because she is a lesbian I just move on.
8. You can refer back to #5 for this one.
9. Let me just say this: To many guys who watch girl-girl
it’s not how long the performer’s partner does it for, it’s the reaction to her
orgasm when she has one that really makes a cunnilingus scene. In fact, if a scene like this takes too long
I usually end up hitting the “fast forward” button on whatever video player I’m
using until I get to the “climax.” (No pun intended).
10. You can say that, but then again the media likes to
dictate what we think of as “hot” and/or “sexy” in a lot of areas. For
example, that is why a guy who fits the “properly hunky” description can get a
woman while having no money and living in a studio apartment but someone who is
“average” needs something to “enhance” himself to be considered attractive to a
woman, namely having lots of greenbacks.
11. I don’t judge women, but the more “sensual” and “loving”
look on screen is as stated a reason why I watch girl-girl.
12. Have never looked
at it that way. Interesting. Kind of like having a dream car: You
fantasize about driving it but unless you hit the lottery you’ll never own one.
---
That alone should really be the end of this silly discussion
but I’m sure people reading this will have rebuttals so here goes….
Rebuttal # 1: There is a reason why people refer to
lesbian porn as “n00b / newbie porn” or “starter porn.” It’s a good start but eventually you’ll want
to move on to harder stuff.
My response: I think I have heard a variation of this before… on the
anti-porn propaganda website “fight the new drug.” The myth that you’ll want move to harder
material that is simply not true.
Rebuttal # 2: “You don’t learn anything as a guy from
watching lesbian porn! You need to watch
a boy/girl movie and learn some things!”
My response: Remember above when I mentioned that the sex
you see in a porn is “choreographed?”
Multiple publications over the years have stated that porn is the last medium you should take tips
from.
Rebuttal # 3: Your friend isn’t the only one with that
mindset, take a look at this post on the IGN forums.
I read that, and only because if came up in a google search
when I did the research for this blog. Look at how the other members are making fun
of him for his “logic.” It’s just as
silly as the person I referenced told me. Oh, and I really don't want to go by a forum where the 90% of the users are probably virgins.
Rebuttal # 4: What your friend was trying to say is that
based on your explanation, the reason you intentionally avoid seeing another
dude by only watching lesbian porn is because you are afraid that if you watch
boy/girl porn you might focus on the man’s junk and get turned on by it.”
My response: Thanks for the clarification. But it’s still stupid. I’m
confident enough in my masculinity that I can watch boy/girl porn. But it just wouldn’t do anything for me. It would be a big waste of time. Plus I have already given the stated reasons
so let’s leave it at that.
---
Conclusion:
I am sorry that I had to even write a blog about this. Apparently, to the person who I referenced
this is what he was basically saying:
“1 beautiful naked woman = Hot. Two beautiful naked women = Closet gay.”
See how stupid that is?
By the way, I want to mention something.
Down here in South Florida the news stations all have hot weather
girls. Sure there are some guys but they
don’t get the same attention (Obviously).
The same person who made the “closet gay” argument on lesbian porn told
me this:
“I only watch the
stations when they have the female meteorologists on, I don’t need a dude
telling me the weather!”
So by his own argument that he used on me, he only watches
the female meteorologists because he’s afraid that if he watches a dude meteorologists
he might get turned on by it. Haha! Closet gay!
See how stupid that sounds when the shoe is on the other
foot?
In closing….
People will like what they like. In the case of entertainment, people don’t
have ulterior or any other type of motive for liking what they like. They just like it and should be not accused of having “closeted whatever
feelings” for deciding to like it over something else. They don’t like something else because they….
Just don’t like it. For example, I don’t
like rap music. With the exception of
some old-school hip-hop, I try to avoid listening to it because I just don’t
like it, not to mention that it’s a quick way to give me a headache! I like rock and blues and would rather listen
to that because I actually want to enjoy what I am listening to, not because I’m afraid that if I listen
to rap I’ll suddenly have the urge to go on Spotify and download Kanye and
Little Wayne.
That is all.
THE END.
