All three of the above phrases can be used
interchangeably.
What do they mean?
It means exactly what they mean, but they are
among the most under-used phrases ever.
Why?
Because thanks to the
PC-brigade, we are more interested in sparing people’s feeling than telling
them the harsh truth of something we call reality: That sometimes, what you
dream of doing and what you can and should actually do are two totally
different things.
Why don’t we use
them?
The PC version of this is “You can be anything you want to
be.” Sorry, but you cannot be anything you want to be. We only say this to avoid hurting feelings. When I was around 8 I appeared in a school talent
show telling the audience I wanted to be a firefighter when I grow up. But I soon found out that the sight of fire
not in a controlled setting (like a frying pan catching on fire) freaks me out.
So obviously, I would be a terrible firefighter!
More recently I tried the vlog thing on Youtube,
but I discovered that as soon as I turned on my video camera, I would mentally
freeze up and I would sometimes do 30 takes simply because I kept screwing up
my lines. When the vlogs did make it to
Youtube, they would get at most maybe 200 views – mainly because people could
tell I was not comfortable in front of a video camera, that probably
contributed to some of the negative comments I got as well. If I can’t handle it when a video camera is
in my face for a simple vlog, then I obviously wouldn’t make a good actor, or
pretty much any profession that requires a video camera in my face.
The vlog thing raises a good point, actually. Did I continue doing it, making myself open
to mocking and ridicule? No, I stopped
because I realized I sucked at it after being pointed out to that fact.... several times. I
found out that writing blogs is more my speed.
Of course, this is just a hobby for me with writing this
blog. I have no intention of making
money off it. I don’t write enough
entries to make it an income generator, but that’s just me.
That’s one of the main things I want to bring up here. You might have a skill that’s great as a
hobby, but for whatever reason it’s not good enough to turn it into a paying
profession. Or, just because you call
yourself something doesn’t mean you have the attributes to do it in one section
of the industry and trying to force your way in just makes you look silly and
will just alienate that industry’s target audience.
Which brings me to….
----
Two public examples
of people who are exactly what I am talking about.
Michael Sam.
There is no doubt that Michael Sam was a great college
football player, but “good in college” does not automatically mean good in the
NFL. He simply does not have the proper
attributes to be a viable option in the professional ranks. You know, one that actually pays money. He couldn’t even make it in the CFL! This is not about him being gay,
either. If a guy is a baller and gives
my team a better chance to win, I don’t give a damn who he is attracted to.
The PC brigade was all over the place when he got released
by the Rams, who insisted it must be due to his sexual orientation. No, it’s because he wasn’t good enough to
make the final roster! It wasn’t just people
like me. Willie McGinest, one of the
best defensive players of all time in the NFL, said publicly “I just don’t
think he’s that good.” It’s McGinest’s
job to analyze players, that’s why he’s paid to be an analyst on the NFL
Network. I would take his word over some
PC-brigade dope bitching on Facebook.
All the analysts in the sports world saw what McGinest saw
during Sam’s NFL Combine performance and his pro day: That he really just
wasn’t cut out to turn his hobby (football) into something that could pay the
bills. But did anyone have the guts to
take him to the side, told him they see the writing on the wall and suggest he
get into another paying profession? If
you guess “not a single one,” you’re a winner, sadly.
To me, if you an authority figure, part of your job should
be recognizing when someone lacks whatever “it” is that will cause him/her to
fizzle out when they try to turn a hobby into something where they get paid and
tell them as such, so they don’t waste their time, other people’s time and money. More on that later….
Tess Holliday.
Tess Holliday is what the modeling industry likes to call a
“plus sized” “model.” Don’t get me
wrong, there are “plus size” models that are very beautiful and should really
be considered “normal size,” I would rather look at them than a typical runway
model that looks like she is going to fall over and die any minute due to lack
of food. Except Tess is not even “plus
size.” She’s just really FAT and to be honest, obese. Now, she does have a pretty face, so she
could be hot…. If she made an effort and lost, oh, 140 pounds or so.
Despite all this, she became the first “plus size” model to
appear in Vogue, a mainstream fashion magazine. I don’t know what Vogue was thinking here,
they could have signed any other “plus size” model to be “first” for the
magazine. But they chose her. The fact that a woman that looks like Tess
is even a “model” in the first place simply astounds me. This is another work of the PC-brigade: No
one had the guts to tell her that she just doesn’t have the body type to be anywhere near
mainstream fashion.
Now recently, someone (in a heated fashion I might add),
tried to tell me “Maybe Vogue just wanted to reach out to a section of the
public that may not have been interested in reading it before, in this case
bigger people!”
Sorry, but in my very limited knowledge of fashion publications,
Vogue’s main target audience is classy fashionistas that like to keep in a
certain type of shape. I seriously doubt
that they are interested in turning the pages or going through the online
articles only to find a fat/obese woman on them.
Sorry, but why should Vogue try to reach out to fat people,
sorry, bigger people? Bigger women have
countless other publications they can read, why did Vogue feel they have to get
into that market and risk pissing off the main target audience? I guess it’s all about money aka selling out.
That would be like a rock band who makes pure rock music
deciding it’s a good idea to try and reach out to the hip-hop crowd by making
hip-hop music. It may get them a few new
listeners, but it’s also going to piss off the target audience they have built
over the years.
There is something that she and Michael Sam have in common….
People who try to
succeed in an industry or activity that’s not for them start lashing out at
others when they start to get criticized.
Again, I’ll use the two people I have mentioned for
reference:
Michael Sam:
It has been reported that the Rams only drafted Michael Sam
because the NFL made a deal with them to avoid being featured on “Hard Knocks”
if they do, not because they actually thought he was any good. As soon as I heard the story, I thought, “It
all makes sense now,” but it did not surprise me one bit.
The issue I have with Michael Sam is that, from what I
gather, he basically thinks that anyone who says anything negative about him is
a homophobe.
He said on record if he
stayed in the closet, he would still be playing today.
Link:
Story HERE. Um, he has that backwards.
The
only
reason he was drafted in the first place was because he was openly gay and that
put pressure on the NFL to make sure he was drafted, hence the deal with the
Rams to draft him in exchange for not being forced to appear on an HBO reality
show.
It’s sort of the same reason why a lot of people feel that
Tim Tebow was drafted by the Broncos in 2010.
He’s super religious, and if he wasn’t drafted people would probably be
accusing the NFL of shunning him because he’s a Jesus freak, so I wouldn’t put
it past the NFL to put pressure on a team to draft him.
Michael Sam also believes that people critiqued his skill
set more than other than other players at the same position and it again has
something to do with him being gay. Um,
being gay has nothing to do with it.
It’s 2016, I doubt any team cares at this point. It’s because he just wasn’t good enough. Can you imagine if he would have made the 53
man roster and pushed out a more capable player?
Tess Holliday:
With Tess Holliday, it’s not really her weight that bothers
me. I’m just not attracted to that body
type, no doubt. But what makes her more
unattractive in is the downright piss-poor attitude she has.
For starters, every time someone says anything about her
appearance she screams “fat shaming!”
News flash, lady: people saying that your weight is at an unhealthy
level are not fat shaming. They are
simply making a qualified observation and are actually trying to look out for
you!
The bigger problem (no pun intended) I have with her is that
she is very hypocritical about the message she is trying to convey.
Case in point?
Link:
Story HERE. She trashes Victoria’s Secret, claiming their
models pose an unrealistic and unhealthy standard of beauty.
She claims she is not glamorizing an unhealthy
body type, but one Google search shows she is advocating that it’s acceptable
or safe to have the body she has.
Sorry, but I fail to see how looking like a Victoria’s
Secret model is somehow “unhealthy” or “unrealistic” yet being grossly
overweight and obese is perfectly fine.
That’s why I say she is hypocritical.
She needs to realize that 99 out of 100 men will prefer a
woman that looks like Victoria’s Secret over her any day of the week. Maybe that’s why she’s trashing them?
Tess Holliday says that she has a lot of haters.
But the “hate” stems from her constant “fat
shaming” tirades when someone tries to tell her that her body type is unhealthy
and the hypocrisy mentioned above.
Oh,
not to mention that she thinks if you’re a black guy you automatically find her
hot
(Yes, she actually said this).
----
Moving on, here are some rebuttals I have encountered….
Rebuttal # 1:
Regarding your Michael Sam point, no one in a position of authority is going to
tell someone that he/she sucks and they should try something else.
Actually, it would help greatly if they did, maybe not that
wording, but similar. When someone is
training to turn a hobby into a living, it’s easy to see if that person has
“it,” or does not. It would help prevent
people from wasting their time, other’s time, and possibly money.
I’ll give the best example: ME.
From elementary school to high school, I loved to draw. Trains, cars, race cars, machines, you name
it. All freehand, too. In fact, one of my schools took my drawings and
hung them up on one of their hallways as a showcase of my work. They called it “art and technology” or
something like that.
Well, as I started a growing interest in computers during
high school, I figured the next step up would be Computer Aided Drafting
(CAD). So after I graduated high school
I enrolled in a CAD course at Lincoln Tech’s New Jersey campus.
First off, I was told as part of the sales pitch to enroll
that I would spend maybe a month on the paper drawing boards then move to the
computer portion. During orientation, I
found out that the first 60% of the course is on the paper drawing boards
before you even move onto the computer aided part. So I was lied to. But that’s another topic for another day.
No matter how hard I tried, I kept getting poor marks on my
test drawings. I was flunking. I was too embarrassed to tell my
parents. Finally, my instructor told me
I owe it to my parents to tell them, but I questioned as to why I was great
throughout school but suck at it now that I’m training to make it a career. This is what he said to me:
“There are a lot of
people who are great when it’s just a hobby, but the skills you have may not
properly translate to something that you can turn into a paying career. I suggest you find something that may fit you
better.”
In other words, he was saying I just wasn’t good enough to
turn my hobby into a viable career. It
hurt to hear someone say that. So I
figured “I’ll show him.” On the very
next drawing assignment, I turned it in confident that it was going to be
great. He auto-zeroed me. He told me that one line was too thin in a
crucial area. It was then I realized
what he said was harsh, but correct. I
dropped out very shortly after and began my journey into computer
certifications, which I was easily able to get.
Years later I researched how I could turn from “great” to
“not good enough,” and I discovered a very simple reason: Doing free-hand
drawings of whatever I dreamed up as a hobby, to the prospect of having to draw
something predetermined on the orders of a higher-up caused it to lose its
luster with me. Once something loses its
luster it’s game over 90% of the time.
But overall, I’m glad the instructor had the guts to tell me
I sucked. It saved me a lot of time,
money and trouble.
Rebuttal # 2:
Regarding your Tess Holliday point, there is no mainstream agency that would
tell a woman that she is too fat to be a model.
Not now not ever.
Is this person kidding?
Allowing a woman who is almost 300 pounds to be published in a major
mainstream fashion magazine would have never happened just a few short years
ago.
It isn’t that we have “evolved.” We have gotten PC. We are too afraid of being accused of “fat
shaming,” so instead of telling a grossly overweight “model” that the “2XL” publication is down the hall the mainstream publication decides to take
her on and then claim she’s a “trailblazer” to save face. In the process
causing the target audience who read their magazine to look at her and think, “What
the hell is she doing here? I don’t want
to see that!”
Here’s the thing – most modeling agencies don’t just "come right out and say it.” Most of the time
if a model doesn’t have the right body type for the line of work she wants to
do, the agency will usually say “We’re sorry but you don’t have the type of
image our clients are looking for.” This
is obviously code for “You just don’t have to body type to do this sort of
modeling work.” This happens all the
time. It’s just that now, agencies and
publications run the risk of being blasted all over the internet for “fat
shaming” if they refuse to take on a big woman as a talent. And that’s crappy, it’s their business after
all, they should be able to turn down anyone they feel is not a good fit!
Rebuttal #3: You
really shouldn’t tell people they are not good enough at something. Let them fail on their own.
I’m an advocate for letting kids fail. Otherwise, they
won’t be able to find their niche and won’t be good at anything. Too many parents nowadays are afraid to let
their kids do any sort of activity or even learn a skill because “if they fail,
their self-esteem will be ruined.” Well
short-term self esteem loss is better than a long term problem of having no
marketable skills. But that’s kids.
I’m talking about as a person gets older and wants to do
something as a paying career, if a person takes schooling to turn hobby into
career and is having difficulty with the training provided and is just not
“getting it,” it should most certainly be the responsibility of the
professor/instructor to point out that maybe their hobby should stay just
that…. A hobby and they should look into another career path.
Of course, there are exceptions. As Mark Cuban said, sometimes you have to
fail – many times – in order to succeed.
Sometimes you do have to fall on
your face by yourself. It’s all about
finding your niche. But sometimes you do
have to be told you suck at something in order for that to happen.
Rebuttal #4: Since
you think that Tess Holliday doesn’t have the body type to be a model, I don’t
think that some of the models you like don't have the body type to be a model either!
I like pinup and glamour models from the UK – you know, the
ones that have curves. Real curves, by the way. There is a difference between “curvy” and
“fat.” If you’re talking about
mainstream fashion, then yeah a lot of glamour models would be told they don’t
have a body type suitable for fashion work.
Two completely different markets and audiences. Fashion modeling usually requires models to
be super-thin so the clothes “hang” better.
Glamour modeling is to capture the “allure” of the subject and since
nearly 100% of the audience is men, the models usually have hourglass figures
with large breasts.
Glamour models know that in order to get a body for fashion
they would have to lose weight and their cup size, so they don’t enter that
side of the industry, unless they are smaller “up there” to begin with.
But I have never heard of a busty glamour model try to sign
with a fashion agency, get turned down and scream all over the internet that
she was “boob shamed.” It’s because she
knows that part of the industry is not for her.
She moves on and no one bats an eye.
It’s called knowing your place and just because you may have attributes
good for one section of the industry, doesn’t mean it will translate well into
another section.
Rebuttal #5: You do
realize that Michael Sam did retire from football after he was cut from the
CFL, right? So he eventually did realize
he “wasn’t good enough” on his own.
Yeah, but key word there is “eventually.” He wasted the Ram’s time, the NFL’s time, the
Cowboy’s time (When they signed him to the practice squad and was cut shortly
after), the CFL’s time and most importantly his time….
….All because people didn’t have the guts to tell him what
they saw during the NFL Combine and his school’s pro day, which are essentially
what NFL teams use to judge whether a college player is going to make a good
NFL player. That he just wasn’t good enough.
It would be a different story if he actually was NFL
material, got drafted then “got paid and got lazy,” which is why so many
college players who have the proper skills become busts in the NFL. But again, in the PC world we live in people
were too afraid to tell him that he wasn’t good enough to play in the NFL.
Oh, and please spare me with “They didn’t want to say
anything because they were afraid of coming off as anti-gay.” Like I said before, it’s 2016, I don’t think
anyone cares as long as the player is good enough to help the team win or at
least get better in a certain area.
Rebuttal #6: You
chastise Vogue for featuring Tess Holliday, but were very happy to see Sports
Illustrated put Ashley Graham on the cover of the 2016 Swimsuit issue, who is
also “obese” if you were to run her body against the Body Mass Index (B.M.I).
You are being hypocritical just because you don’t find Tess attractive but you think Ashley Graham is.
Ashley Graham is hardly what you would call “obese,” she’s a
size 14-16, has lovely curves in the right places and carries her weight very
well relative to her height.
That wasn’t the first time S.I. put a “plus size” model in
the swimsuit issue. Robyn Lawley, who
IMO is just gorgeous, was featured in the previous 2015 version of the
issue. People were outraged that she was
called “plus size,” as well they should be.
Oh, regarding the B.M.I.... I never even bother with
that. Why? Because it is nothing more than a big load of
bovine excrement. There are 6Ft 6” body
builders with maybe 7% body fat that
get labeled “obese” once their bodies get run against the B.M.I.
That is because the B.M.I. does not take into account muscle
mass and where the fat is actually located.
For example, let’s say a British glamour model with a flat tummy had
measurements of 32(Bust)-24(Hips)-36(Waist) with a GG cup size. It’s obviously where all the extra fat
is. But if she was made to go on the
B.M.I. scale, she would be considered “grossly overweight,” even though she is
actually trim with an hourglass figure, just top-heavy. Because the B.M.I. does not take “boob weight”
into account.
Oh, as I went to press with this blog, I saw this.
If Ashley Graham was “obese,” Maxim would not
be putting her in the April 2016 issue
and
on the cover:
Click HERE to see it.
----
Now for the two main questions I’m sure everyone will want
to ask me….
1. If you were in the
NFL, you would crush a young man’s dreams and tell him he isn’t good enough?
There is a difference between “dreams” and “reality.” To answer your question, if I saw he was
wasting his time and a potential NFL team’s time because he’s dreaming of
playing professionally but he wasn’t good enough for what the NFL is looking for, then
hell yeah I’ll tell him.
2. You would
seriously tell a bigger woman that she is too fat to be a fashion model in
today’s climate?
It depends on what you call “bigger.” Bigger like Ashley Graham or Robyn
Lawley? I’m sure there will be a “curves”
division where they might be pretty popular in, especially with men. If she
looks like Tess Holliday? Sorry, you
have the wrong agency Miss. 2XL fashion
is down the street!
---
Bonus!
Here are two dumb things I heard/read, starting with a
stupid question someone said to me recently, and a common thing found in the
comments section of any Tess Holliday article:
“I don’t think you
are good looking enough to date the women you like so start dating fat women.”
Um, did I mention dating anywhere on this blog? Want to know why this is a stupid
question? I have seen guys that make me look like a Calvin Klein model going
out with good-looking babes all the time.
This blog is about having the guts to tell people they don’t
have whatever attributes a paying profession is looking for. NOT DATING.
There is someone out there for everyone, and a man does not have to look
like Tom Brady or Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson to find a match.
“You’re just a hater! Tess Holliday has curves and is finally showing
what a real woman looks like!”
These comments are made by women 100% of the time and you
can probably guess what they look like.
First, what exactly is a “real woman?”
Are you saying that Victoria’s Secret models and popular UK glamour
models are finely tuned robots and not humans?
Second, let’s tackle the word “curves.” Katy Perry has curves. Kat Dennings has curves. Sofia Vergara has curves. The aforementioned Robyn Lawley has curves. Tess Holliday does not have curves. She’s just really, really FAT! Sorry to burst your bubble and interrupt your
Twinkie eating session, ladies.
----
Conclusion….
I’ve pretty much said enough. Until we have the guts to say….
“This is not for you”
“You are just not good enough”
“You do not have the
right attributes”
…..Like my Lincoln Tech instructor did, then you will
continue to see people going into professions that they either fizzle out in
wasting everyone’s time and money, look ridiculous and get made fun of when
they are clearly out of their element, and blasts anyone who tries to tell them
what other people should have told them.
That is all.
